Just a few...

R&R

"Tough times never last; tough people do"

Right now, I hate R&R. I wish it didn't exist. Ask me how I felt about R&R two weeks ago, I'd probably have a very different opinion. I definitely needed to see him but having him ripped away after 2 weeks is quite possibly the most painful thing I have ever gone through. Shane doesn't understand where his daddy went again but I can tell he knows something is up. Feeling like a family was the happiest I've been this whole year. I loved being able to do just the simple things with them, getting coffee was exciting.

And now we're back to being just the two of us. 56% done. I need time to keep flying...

I will write a full detail of R&R when I'm not feeling so blah.

He's Home!

Feelings

Does anyone ever feel like their feelings aren't respected? Like the way you are feeling is wrong and that somebody always makes you feel guilty for feeling that way?

Please tell me someone does so I'm not in this alone.

I wish some people would understand that MY feelings are MINE. They don't have to agree with them or even like them, but they need to realize they are mine and I have every right to feel the way I do. I don't expect sympathy or for you to side with me, just don't tell me I'm wrong for feeling that way.

I try SO very hard to be nice to everyone, to go out of my way, and to be an overall good person but there comes a time when I've been shot down, pushed around, and ran over so many times than I am just done. I can only do so much and feel so many ways without hitting that dead end. I'm at that dead end now and not only does it suck, its just plain uncomfortable.

Because of being shot down so much, I have a hard time communicating how I am feeling because I am sick of hearing "you're wrong" or "that's just stupid". Essentially I feel like you're calling me stupid. Why on earth would I keep on wanting to expressing myself then?

So that's where I'm at right now. Frustrated beyond belief and just tired.