Memorial Day

I hope everyone is having a safe and fun weekend! I hope you all take a minute to really remember the reason why the majority of us have tomorrow off. Men and women have served our country and died serving our country. We owe our freedom and liberties to them and in my eyes every day should be memorial day. For those who have lost loved ones, I'm sure this holiday is so bittersweet. Even for me, having a husband deployed, this holiday is a tough one.

As most of you by now, Obama will not be attending the wreath laying at Arlington National Cemetery this year. He is trying to defend his actions because he is not "pro-military" yet he laid the wreath last year (I was there to see that). Now I know that it is not a mandatory event, but it needs to be. Whether or not you are "pro-military" doesn't have anything to do with the respect you should show our troops. ANC is the most sacred place in our country and it represents everything that Memorial Day stands for. Why on Earth would the President of the United States and the Commander in Chief of our armed services be anywhere else?

I am extremely opinionated in my political views but I am open to every one elses as well. I will not write you off because you beliefs are different than mine, just make sure if you're going to argue with me, you have valid points and your facts straight. Nothing makes me madder that a "just because" answer.

Anyway, sorry for my mini-rant. I was able to voice my opinion on a local radio station yesterday and man did that feel GREAT.

Sympathy

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the word sympathy. Mr. Webster defines sympathy as the act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another. I don't ask for much in life and sympathy sure isn't one of them. There is a select group that can do what this word means and that is my fellow milspouse. Being away from a loved one is hard, period. But being away from your husband, your other half, the father to your child, and knowing that there are people out there who want to hurt him, now that is a feeling I can't even begin to describe. On top of that, knowing that he's missing all these major milestones in our son's life eats away at my heart. I do my very best to video tape everything he does and send those off in my packages but I know that it hurts him to. Being away from each other has been a true test of our commitment to our marriage, family, and our love.

I don't want sympathy from anyone. Sympathy means you know what I'm going through and honestly the majority doesn't. I'd just ask for patience and support. Help to keep me busy and my mind off the other side of the world.

So for those of you that have kept me sane, thank you. You don't know how much your friendship and support means to me.

VACATION!

Hey everyone! Just writing you from my “vacation”! Here’s how a typical day goes! I get up around 6:30-7 AM to a crying child who wants his momma. I then feed him, change him, play with him for about 2 hours until its time for a nap which most of the time he fights by screaming for 10 minutes. While he’s napping, I do about an hour of homework while juggling laundry, cleaning up after him, and maybe catching my deployed husband online for a few minutes. The peace is broken usually about 2 hours later and we start the routine all over again! Food, diaper change, and lots of playing! Somewhere in there, I might get to eat myself.
My afternoon consists of running errands and trying to wrangle a very busy 1 year old that has just learned to walk. All of this while constantly worrying about my husband’s safety and well-being. Around 3 o’clock, little one takes a nap and I’ll do another hour or so of school work and get ready for work that evening. Around 5 PM I head up to work where I try to sell expensive handbags to people for 3 hours. I get home around 10 PM and work on school work for another hour before I get some alone time where I can go onto Facebook and chat with friends. Then comes the most FUN part of my vacation: insomnia.
So as you can tell, my “vacation” is so relaxing and rejuvenating. I suggest every one try being a temporary single parent, full time student, and working part-time all while having a husband deployed to a war zone AND living with your parents! It’s a BLAST!

Deployment Survival

Being a military spouse is probably one of the hardest titles to hold. Trying to manage a household budget that never seems to go as far as you’d like it to, being a single parent during deployments, listening to AND understanding the “jargon” of the military are all tasks you are expected to do on top of being a human being. But the lowest of lows also come with the highest of highs. I still get goose bumps thinking of watching my husband and his fellow soldiers march into a ceremony hall after a fifteen-month deployment, the tears just pouring down my face in pure joy. Having been a military wife for over 4 years now and currently enduring our 2nd deployment, I have learned so much about my true inner strength and determination. I always have people come up to me and say “I could never do it” and my answer is always “You’d do it if you had to.”
I’d like to think I have a very positive outlook on things. Bad things happen, things completely out of your control. So why sit there and wallow in self pity? Either do something about it or shut up. Lately I’ve been extremely annoyed with all the negativity I’ve seen. Yes, some days I’d like to whine and complain all day about my husband being gone, but what is that going to get me? It’s certainly not going to bring him home so why waste precious moments and energy on a situation I cannot change. And while I can’t change it, I can make the best of it. I can stay busy and focus on being a mother to my son and keeping my husband’s spirits and morale up. The LAST thing he needs is to have to worry about me and my well-being. Focusing on the mission at hand and coming home to me is all he should have to worry about.
Just because he’s not here doesn’t mean our lives need to stop. They’ll just be different. Learn to be independent, learn how to mow the lawn and change your car’s oil. Use this time as an opportunity and growth period, not as a time to sit and cry. I can guarantee that at the end of these long 12 months, you’ll be a stronger person and better off and when you’re husband gets off that plane he’s going to be prouder of you than he’s ever been.

Apple Blossom Parade

The Apple Blossom parade is an annual event in my hometown. I haven't been in probably 8 or 9 years though. Now that I have this bundle of joy in my life, it's time to enjoy all the little things in life again. He loved everything about the parade. He was completely enthralled with the music and all the people. He was so excited to see the firetrucks and bagpipe players. I got to enjoy seeing him experience something new and being out on such a gorgeous day really helped my mood. The only thing that could have made it better was having Matt with us.

My Mini Me

Andrea at 13 months

Shane at 13 months

Much love.

He Knows His Daddy!

My Hero

I miss you, I miss you so much sometimes it hurts. But you know what I do to get through these times? I remember how proud I am of you and how proud this whole country must be of you and the people you serve with. Thinking of that doesn't make the hurt of missing you go away- nothing can, really. But it reminds me that there's a reason we're apart right now. And that reason is you're an amazing, brave, heroic man with a job to do. And so, my job right now will be to miss you. But when you come back to me, I'm going to make it my job to hold you and kiss you and love you like a hero deserves. Like you deserve.


Much love.

Cousins

“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.”

Ocean Sized Love

This picture was taken last summer in July up at Ogunquit Beach in Maine. It was Shane's very first time at the beach and in the Atlantic Ocean. My dad captured these precious moments as the waves hit his little feet and he dug his toes into the sand for the first time. I have never felt so alive as I did when I was introducing my son to my favorite place in the world. I am never more at peace than I am when I am standing on the beach looking out and seeing nothing but water. I hope I can pass this love onto my son and any other additions to our family in the future. I know that whatever stress I have, I can leave it on the beach and the waves and tide will carry it far, far away me.

The ocean has a whole new meaning to me since I embarked on the journey of a military wife. It's what separates my husband and I. And yet I could never associate the ocean with anything negative. So instead I think of it this way: standing there on the edge of the water is the closest I can get to him at this point. And that, is what offers me just the slightest hint of comfort.

"I don't have to worry anymore
If I really need you I'll go to the shore
And the thought of you there is my protection"

Much love.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all my fellow mommies out there!

It's my 2nd Mother's Day and second one spending it without my husband. But I really shouldn't complain since I'm not HIS mom. It just would nice to be able to spend the day as a family. Shane can't really appreciate me yet so for the mean time, it's Daddy's job to show him the ropes.

Shane had a bad day today which is entirely ironic since last year he was a terror too. He is getting two bottom molars so he was miserable. It was either nap time or he cried the entire day. Mom and I went and did some damage at Ann Taylor Loft while he was napping.

So nothing major today although my husband made me feel so special by leaving me a special note on my Facebook. That was the perfect thing to wake up to. I am so blessed.

Much love.

An Early Mother's Day blog

Perfect.

To say today is a perfect spring day is an understatement. Perfect breeze, perfect temperature, even the sky is the most perfect shade of blue. Shane, my mom, and I enjoyed a nice walk around our neighborhood. It's days like today I don't feel so depressed. There, I said it, depressed. I wouldn't necessarily consider this to be an everyday occurrence because usually I'm my chipper self. I had my good days and bad days. Days where I would give anything to have him home enjoying watching our son play and grow. Today, I was just thankful. Thankful to be alive, thankful for life's many blessings, and thankful that even though he's thousands of miles away I have a man who loves his family.

And just to make your mouth water a litte:


My mom bought the Perfect Brownie Pan and I've been meaning to send Matt and his guys some home cookin'. I don't even like brownies and these came out perfect. So enjoy when you get them guys!

Much love.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

To all my wonderful military wives: You are so incredible and some of the strongest women I have ever met. Thank you for being such incredible women and for supporting your men through thick and thin.

“You are a patriot, the sort of citizen that all of us should be, but so few of us are... Although you wear no uniform,you are a part of that defense,a vital link in the chain of freedom. Although you wear no medals and will reap no glory on the field of battle,you are hero in the truest sense of the word. You are a military spouse.”-G. Thomas

This is for the young women that are waking up at 6
a.m. every morning, laying out clothes and packing
three lunches for those small precious children that
they have been left alone to care for.

This is for the pregnant Army wife wondering if her
husband will make it home in time to watch their
miracle happen.

This is for the childless Army wife, living in a town
or on a base alone where she is a complete stranger to
her surroundings.

This is for the women that feel like a third leg when
they go out with their friends and their husbands.

This is for the Army wife that canceled all her plans
to wait by the phone, and even though the phone broke
up and cut off every time you spoke to him, you waited
anyway.

This is a pledge to the women that cry themselves to
sleep in an empty bed.

This is to recognize the woman that felt like she was
dying inside when he said he had to go, but smiled for
him anyway.

This is for those of you that are faithfully in that
long line at the post office once a month, handling 2
large boxes and 2 small children like a pro.

This is for that woman that decided to remodel the
house to pass time, and then realized that she had no
idea what she was doing and sighed and wished she had
a little help.

This is for all the lonely nights, all the one-person
dinners, and all of the wondering thoughts because you
haven't heard from him in days.

This is for the sad Army wives, the angry Army wives,
and the strong Army wives.
A toast to you for falling apart, and putting
yourselves back together. Because a pay check isn't
enough, a body pillow in your bed is no consolation,
and a web cam can never compare.

This is for all of you no matter how easy or hard this
was for you. Our soldiers are brave, they are heroes,
but so are we. So the next time someone tells you that
they would never marry an Army guy, don't bother
explaining to them that you can't control who you
fall in love with. Just think of this and nod your
head, know that you are the stronger woman. Hold your
heads up high, hang that flag in your front yard,
stick 100 magnets on your car, and then give yourself
a pat on the back.

Be proud to be the woman that you are, be proud to be
an Army wife.


Much love.

Project 365: The actual pictures

Much love.

Project 365

I am going to have a slideshow of my Project 365 (given I can figure out how it works) on this blog as well. It's a little something I started a few days after my husband left. I have taken one picture a day since February 8th of our little man to keep Daddy up to date with all the changes he's gone through. It's something I really enjoy doing and I know I am going to cherish it forever!

Much love.

Re-Vamp

I've made a few changes. First off being the fact this is now a public blog. It's just easier to share my story with the world this way. Second, new pictures, new layout, jazzed things up a little big. Feeling a bit creative. Thanks for the header, Carol!

We're now 3 months deep into this monster of a deployment. Spring has come in and while I am enjoying the gorgeous green and perfect temperature, my allergies are not. Shane is too enjoying the beautiful weather since we get to play outside a lot more. I finished my FIRST semester of online school with a 3.84 which I am totally thrilled about. Matt is doing... I guess I could say well. As well as one can be in a war zone and away from his family. He is very much looking forward to his R&R this summer as are all of us waiting anxiously at home for him.

I am going to try something new with this blog. I want to be better about documenting my days since life truly seems to be passing by me. I want to get out, do more, have more adventures with my son because he is only going to be this age once and I want to soak in every smile, every shriek, and yes, every dirty diaper. So from now on, I will be blogging our adventures.

Thanks for reading and as always, much love.